Celebrating Our Mothers (Even If Your Mom Has Passed Away.)

Happy Monday!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. To my readers who are moms, I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day filled with laughter and love. You deserve all the pampering and gifts you hopefully received. 🙂

Most of my readers are of a certain age.  Because of this, I know that many of you are beginning to experience holidays and special days, like Mother’s Day ,without your mom. This is a painful time, I know. However, our ability to age gracefully and get the most out of life depends on our ability to process grief and move forward in a new direction. Nothing stays the same.

Some of my readers are younger than I or have mothers who are exceptionally strong and fit. While the post is written as if your mother is no longer living,  I hope this post may be of inspiration to you in creating some new traditions while your mother is still with you. 🙂

Here are some ideas I have for honoring mothers.

  1. Plant something: Whether it is planting a special tree from your childhood memories, adding your mom’s favorite rose to your flower garden,  creating a colorful container with spring flowers, or purchasing a new house plant; getting our hands in the dirt and connecting with the earth brings us  sense of peace and appreciation for the renewal of life.
  2. Bake a favorite comfort food or prepare a special meal: I will have to admit this is not my strong point but I know that cooking and baking can a great therapy for many people. It may be fun to make your mom’s favorite dish and serve it to family and friends. Start a new tradition and make new memories centered around a shared meal with  people who are special to you. Share stories from your childhood if the mood is right.
  3. Make a list of positive personality traits or hobbies you can trace back to your mom:  None of fall very far from the proverbial tree. There are so many nuances to our personality that we have developed under the guidance of our mother. While there are many jokes as we age about turning into our parents, the truth is much of what is good about us is the result of the impressions left on our psyche by of our very first teacher, our mother. My love of animals, my dedication to be of service to humanity, the value I place on education, my work ethic, my faith, my reserved outward demeanor, and my love of coffee,  just to name a few, all come from my mom. Share the list if you like!
  4.  List all of your accomplishments and how your mother’s encouragement, support, or guidance helped you create your life as an adult. Take a moment to say “thank you” out loud. It does not matter whether or not you believe your mother can hear you. There is great power just in speaking the words out loud,  My mom was a single mom who often worked two jobs to support us on a very limited income. Yet, she came to every school event, found a local program that gave scholarships for free music lessons, and helped us search for financial aid to go to college. I still get misty eyed when I think about her taking a 9 hour bus ride from Colorado to Kansas so that she could come to my senior flute recital. Even as I floundered in establishing myself in a career after college she always remained proud and supportive. Once,when I expressed frustration over having a college degree and still working in the fast food industry and repaying student loans she replied ” No one can take your education from you. No matter what happens with your career or in life, you will always have your education.” It was then I  realized that some things can not be be measured in a dollar amount or by career success and those things are the real treasures in this world. ” Thanks, mom!”
  5. Contribute to a charity or cause that was important to your mother and is important to you as well. Mom’s usually have a soft spot. Did your mom love animals, children, or nature? Did she pass that on to you? If you and your mom  shared passion for a charity or cause, making an annual donation in her memory is a great tribute.
  6. Share the talents and interests you used to share with your mother with a new generation or group of people.  Most moms are pretty good at developing special and unique relationships with each of her children based on their personality and needs. There are probably things you and your mom did together that were just the two of you. You may not be able to spend Sunday afternoon with your mom at the local garden show anymore but their are many people who could benefit from your love of gardening. Spread your knowledge and enthusiasm to others and see how you cultivate wonderful things in the hearts of others while honoring your mother’s memory.
  7. Become the living legacy: I believe that this is the ultimate tribute. Our moms were not perfect and we are not perfect. Fortunately, there is a love and hope for each child that resides in the heart of every mother. When we embrace all that our mothers represent; the hopes, fears, dreams, shortcomings,  loving sacrifice,we become a living legacy. We contribute to the human experience. We know that what we are giving to the world is bigger than ourselves. We are passing on our legacy to future generations. We know we can persevere in any life circumstance because our mothers persevered and passed their strength, wisdom, and love on to us.

 

As always, I would love to hear from you. Do you have any special Mother’s Day traditions?

Until next time,

Laura

 

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