Happy Thursday, everyone! I hope your week is going well 🙂
It dawned on me in the grocery store the other day that the most likely reason for the rise in single people in our society these days is simply the fact that we can be single. In modern western society single people are able to maintain a home, receive an education, have a career, and lead a meaningful life with or without a partner. Marriage is wonderful but for most of us it is not a requirement for getting on in the world.
We never really know when the love bug is going to bite. Many people find great partners early in life,while other attractive, vibrant people who would make terrific partners never find themselves married or give themselves fully to a marriage that later falls apart. Often those of us who are single have heard from well-meaning people that we are being too picky when we talk about a prolonged single status. I prefer the word discerning, myself. I truly believe it is better to really know ourselves and what we want in a relationship and risk being single rather than be in a marriage or long-term relationship that drains the life out of us. When we realize that we don’t need to be married for food and shelter it frees us to marry for the purpose of sharing our lives with another person and that should not be taken lightly or with compromise.
I know that many people create long lists of what they are looking for in a partner and I have heard these lists can be of great help when entering a new relationship. Personally, I am flexible on hair color, height, religious views, and many other categories which I would have to look at more carefully on an individual basis; but I do have several key categories that I think are important for everyone to consider without compromise:
- Values and morals– It seems strange to say but many people will compromise their core belief systems in hopes of finding or keeping a partner.
- Plans for the future and family– If you are at an age where raising a family is a possibility it is important to be on the same page as your partner. Do not assume they have the same vision for children as you do. Also make sure you are on the same page with your partner with step children and blended families. Talk with each other about what you envision for your life together. If one of you dreams of living in a big city and the other on a ranch in Montana that is probably something worth talking about.
- Work ethic and career choice– People approach work and career choices differently. Know what you want from your partner. Life with a plumber is going to be very different from life with a banker. Income, time at home, and social circles are affected by career choice and how much time you and your partner dedicate to your careers.
- General outlook on life – You will never change how a person views life and the world around them. People are not going to magically shift perspective just because you love them. How your potential partner treats others and views the world is the best indication you have of how they are going to treat you and approach your marriage.
Remember we have the freedom of choice that society did not allow not so long ago. We can lead great and fulfilling lives without being married. Embrace your life where you are at right now and if love finds its way into your heart be discerning. The odds of you and your partner adding value to each other’s lives or you living an amazing life as a single person will greatly improve if you are true to yourself and don’t allow room for compromise.
What about you? What do you think should be considered before entering a marriage or long-term partnership? I would love to hear from you!
Thanks for stopping by the blog
. If You are in the USA, have a great Independence Day and 4th of July weekend 🙂
Until next time,