This past three-day weekend I had several opportunities to reflect on a very real aspect of trying to enjoy everyday life.I must confess that sometimes I lose my perspective during the course of a day. Bad days happen and bad moments in an otherwise good day can seem to overshadow all the good moments preceding the irritating situation. I should be clear that I am not talking about life altering tragic events that catch us off guard, that is for another post. I am referring to your average, run of the mill, grumpiness.
I am a generous person by nature and therefore if I am in a bad mood I am more than willing to share; not with everyone, mind you, that would blow my cover.Those whom I am closest to and spend the most time with are usually doomed to suffer with me unless they are able to find their escape.
Why on earth do I think for one minute I need to bring other people down with me? I have no idea. There they are minding their own business and here I come dumping my misfortunes on them while they are busy either enjoying their day or dealing with their own stuff. If you are reading this and relating it to your own life you may say ” We all need someone to talk to or listen to us vent. It is helpful and healthy to talk about our feelings.” Healthy for whom, really? I may feel better but it very well may have been at someone else’s expense. It is true that a good friend of family member can listen to us when we have problems and be there with sound advice. They may also be there for us when we need a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. However, I know for myself, I often just react out of frustration with little regard to what others are needing or feeling. In reality, I am just spreading my bad mood around under the guise of expressing my feelings.
So what if I overslept, forgot to put gas in my car the night before, and left the house without grabbing my lunch. No one should have to hear my complaining about it. For all I know, the people I come in contact with, especially those who I deal with the most, could have had to deal with all of that and more during the course of their day and could us my support instead of my grumpiness. Besides, why am I so busy dwelling on those things when I have such going on around me that is so right? No one is happy 100 percent of the time. Throughout the day we all experience dozens of feelings and our emotions go up and down. Which feelings and emotions we focus on and which ones we let go is entirely our choice.
My plan for dealing with grumpiness and negative emotions:
- Be in the present moment and let it go. The past is gone.
- Take deep cleansing breaths.
- Be mindful about how I am affecting the people I am coming into contact with.
- Consciously try to look for ways to bring people up instead of bringing them down.
- Make a mental list of all the good things that happened during course of the day.
- Remember if I can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
- Refer to my list for being more playful for some instant joy.Add Some Playfulness To Your Week!
- Accept that emotions and feelings wax and wane throughout the day and just go with the flow.
Finding Joy, love, and adventure in everyday life is a process. I know I will have days on my journey that are more successful than others. I will probably inadvertently bring someone I care about down. This weekend I was reminded that focusing on other people’s joy and love will ultimately bring more joy and love into my own life. What a great lesson to focus on. It looks like I will have a lot of ” homework” for a while.
Until next time,
Great post Laura. I have one for you in the “Consciously try to look for ways to bring people up instead of bringing them down” category, that might brighten someone’s day.
A while ago I decided to say good morning to the first person I meet when I step into the office building every morning, even if they are a complete stranger. I just give them a big smile and say good morning. It’s amazing how that even brightens MY day 😉
Great idea Anne Lene! It is amazing how much things like a greeting can lift our moods as well as the moods of others.. Thanks for sharing:)